Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
