Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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