She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
