nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
