He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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