Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
