Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize