4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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