Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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