I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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