We won't sleep together?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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