Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
