maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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