I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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