you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
