it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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