Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
