Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
