the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
soo... how was my night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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