Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
