found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
