im about as happy as oj after his trial
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize