from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
