i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
