Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
