i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize