She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
