I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
