I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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