i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
