But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
