this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
