you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
