Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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