I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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