I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
