no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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