Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
