dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
