If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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