big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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