He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize