Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
