I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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