I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
