literally had 100 drinks last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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