so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
