Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize