even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
