I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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