did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize