Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
FUCK WHALES
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
