chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
