just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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