Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
