Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
