you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
